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What are some funny and smart quotes?

10.06.2025 04:26

What are some funny and smart quotes?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Brain Uses Separate Synapses to Balance Learning and Stability - Neuroscience News

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Im a 14 year old girl who doesnt want to wear a hijab but my parents force me to wear one. It makes me dislike it more. Im not ready for one no matter what people say and they get really mad at me. I have bad grades and no motivation. What do I do?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Dave Chappelle and Mo Amer on Politics and Comedy, SNL Monologues - Variety

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.